How I Redesigned My Life Using 5 UX Laws (After Losing My Dad)
- Sophie Pilley
- Feb 20
- 6 min read
Product designers are masters at crafting user journeys, but sometimes life sends us on unexpected quests of our own. Here's how five UX laws helped me transform chaos into clarity.
Last year, I lost my dad. 🪽
In product design, we often talk about "aha moments" - those magical moments when users suddenly understand the value of what we've built. We meticulously craft these experiences, knowing they can transform a casual user into a devoted advocate.
But sometimes, life designs its own aha moments. They arrive uninvited, unpolished, and hit with the subtlety of a system crash. My dad’s passing was such a moment.
In the aftermath, I discovered something unexpected: grief is the ultimate user researcher. It asks the hard questions we've been avoiding:
Why are we running life in perpetual sprint mode without any retrospectives?
Who defined these default patterns we're following without questioning?
When did we stop designing our lives with intention and start living in "quick fix" mode?
The answers revealed an uncomfortable truth:
I had been treating my life like a product in perpetual sprint mode—always shipping, never reflecting.
Sound familiar?
🌟 The Tale of Two Paths
I recently discovered a concept that changed my perspective: Living by Default vs. Living by Design.
Living by Default is like running a product with a mountain of technical debt:
Shipping features without documentation (living without reflecting)
Prioritising speed over longevity
No clear information architecture for making decisions
Living by Design, by contrast, mirrors crafting a brilliant design system. It’s about:
Building with scalability and sustainability in mind
Setting clear goals for functionality and eliminating unnecessary complexity
Implementing patterns that support—not overwhelm—the user (you!)
Running regular retrospectives to recalibrate priorities
🗺️ Mapping the Journey: A Real-World Example
A few months ago, I found myself drowning in the day-to-day grind of email replies and follow-ups. My process was chaotic—I’d lose threads, forget replies, and scramble to reconnect later. Realising I was stuck in "Living by Default," I reframed the issue as a scaling problem:
“What would this process look like if I were building it for a product instead of my inbox?”
The solution? A simple tracking template—a "design system" for my emails. With clear statuses and next steps for every email, I turned communication chaos into a scalable, intentional workflow.
This shift wasn’t just efficient—it was a reminder that even chaos can be designed into clarity.
Here’s the exact Notion template I used to go from chaos to a sustainable CRM system.
🧠 Life by Design: A Product Designer's Laws of Living
As designers, we use proven patterns to guide users through digital experiences. Recently, I've discovered these same principles can illuminate our life journeys in unexpected ways.
Here are five Laws of UX that have helped me navigate this season of grief and growth:
Flow State Law
As a UX principle: The mental state where a person is fully immersed and energised in the process of an activity
As a life principle: Flow — Instead of forcing productivity in moments of grief, I've learned to recognise my natural rhythms. Some days are for deep work, others are for deep feeling. Both are valid states of flow.
Law of Prägnanz
As a UX principle: People will perceive complex images in their simplest form possible
As a life principle: Essence — When life feels overwhelming, I've learned to seek simplicity. Instead of trying to solve everything at once, I focus on distilling each day down to its essence - what truly matters right now? Sometimes that's work, sometimes it's just taking a walk with Nacho.
Hick's Law
As a UX principle: Decision time increases with the number and complexity of choices
As a life principle: Choices — By simplifying my daily choices by categorising my to-dos into "core tasks" (must do) and "bonus tasks" (could do). I've created more mental space for processing and growth.
Selective Attention
As a UX principle: People can only focus effectively on a select number of items at once
As a life principle: Focus — I've learned to be gentle with myself when I can't maintain the same level of attention as before and juggle as much. Some seasons require us to narrow our focus to just the essentials.
Serial Position Effect
As a UX principle: People best remember the first and last items in a series
As a life principle: Bookends — Each day, I try to bookend my time with meaningful moments - starting with intention and ending with reflection. These anchors help me stay grounded even when the middle feels messy.
These aren't just cliche design principles - they're guides for crafting a more intentional life quest.
Just as we design products to support users through their journey, we can design our lives to support us through both the victories and the valleys.
✨ Field Notes: A New Way Forward
In the business world, we often celebrate the warriors who never rest, the mages casting spells without cooldowns, and the adventurers forever chasing their next quest. Yet, as any good product designer knows, relentless effort without thoughtful iteration leads to burnout—or worse, bad outcomes.
The truth is, our best work—and our best selves—emerge when we learn to pause, reflect, and choose intentionally. Over the past year, I’ve been experimenting with what it means to design a life that’s aligned with these principles.
Here’s how you can apply them with practical steps, inspired by my journey:
→ White Space is Essential
In product design, white space isn’t empty; it’s functional. It directs focus and ensures clarity amidst complexity.
For me, walking with Nacho through nature reserves isn’t just exercise—it’s prototyping space for calm and clarity (and often where I get ideas for these articles!).
💡 Tip: Try a 15-minute daily "white space" experiment. Block this time in your calendar like you would a meeting. Use it for anything self-care: a walk, sitting in silence, or simply breathing. Track how it affects your energy and focus over one week.
Yes, you should be blocking out time for self-care. @thejournalcorner
→Pause and Prototype
Prototypes let us test something early—without overcommitting. Life works the same way.
For me, taking time to process emotions using apps like Headspace rather than pushing them aside has been my equivalent of rigorous user testing for mental health.
💡Tip: Choose one area of your life to prototype a change this week. Start small—maybe it's a new morning routine or a different way to structure your tasks. Document what works and iterate, just like you would with a product feature.
→ Purpose over Hustle
In life, just like in product work, hustle doesn’t equal success.
For me, I’ve learned to swerve projects and tasks that don’t align with my values, even if it means slowing down. Choosing only those quests that align has reminded me that progress isn’t about rushing—it’s about intentionality.
💡Tip: Take 30 minutes this weekend to audit your current commitments. Rate each one from 1-5 based on alignment with your values. Identify one commitment you can pause or eliminate to create space for what truly matters.
The “Level 10" Life” will help you start a life audit - Laura shows you how here
→ Set Boundaries for Energy
In product design, we implement “anti-pattern” safeguards to improve user experience, like limiting unnecessary notifications.
For me, I’ve adapted this idea by creating boundaries that protect my energy. Saying "no" or "not right now" has been a game-changer for focus and mental clarity. Sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is be still.
💡Tip: Think of boundaries as guardrails for your time and energy—they’re there to protect you from burnout. Start small: say "no" to one unnecessary meeting or try energy mapping your life (workbook shown below). These small changes can be transformative for your overall focus and clarity.
If you're feeling the pressure to always be "on," know this: It's okay to design a different way of working and living. Sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is simply be present—even (especially) when it's uncomfortable.
Like every great design, this system is still evolving. I’m constantly iterating to find what works best for this season of life.
🤔 Questions for Fellow Adventurers
What parts of your life are you living by default rather than design?
When was the last time you gave yourself permission to pause?
How might slowing down actually help you move forward?
The beautiful thing about intentional living isn’t that we “finish the quest” faster but that we can design a life that feels meaningful to us as we go.
Until our next design adventure,
Sophie 🌟
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